I went to Target yesterday to buy a Swiffer. Somehow, in a fit of apoplectic rage, I destroyed the other one. I think it was because someone left it straddling the kitchen floor and I tripped over it.
Floor, meet my face. Face, this is the floor.
Anyway, while picking it up, I noticed a sign underneath it that basically said if I bought a total of 3 Proctor & Gamble products, I could get a Target gift card for $5. So, I looked at the list. I would have to buy Charmin, Tampax and the Swiffer. I also needed Always (another P&C product, just in case you're ever on Jeopardy and that question comes up. It could happen).
In reality, I normally buy the Target brand of most things and it seems stupid to spend more money to get a $5 card, but anything that makes me feel like I'm actually getting something in return for putting up with crappy customer service is a bonus in my world. So, like a good sheep, I ate what they fed me and put the overpriced shit in my basket.
I went back, one more time, to make sure I had read correctly. I read the whole sign and the fine print at the bottom. Nope, no tricks. I get my gift card RIGHT AT THE REGISTER. I don't have to send off a hair sample and belly button lint along with 12 box tops and a stamped, addressed envelope to a hut in Guatemala and then wait 8 to 12 years for my card. RIGHT AT THE REGISTER. Sweet.
I waited through checkout for the girl to exclaim, "Oh, my! Mrs. McKnob, you get a free $5 gift card!" (Which is a lie. I spent more on the name brand crap than the card was worth, so I actually came out a negative $3 and some change) (Forty two cents) (But, who's counting?). When she mumbled my total and handed me my receipt, I did the unthinkable in my world: I held up the line behind me.
"Um, I'm supposed to get a five-dollar gift card for buying the Proctor & Gamble products," I told her.
I stupidly assumed she would just give me the damned gift card and I would be on my way. Instead, she rounded the counter and started digging through my bags.
"Here's my receipt," I offered. I guess there's a chance I could have switched it out for a fake receipt that I made on my Target printer at home, because she kept rummaging.
"Hmm. I don't know why it didn't give you the card," she said. She went to another register, ostensibly to call in back-up because this was five, FIVE, THAT'S ONE PLUS FOUR, FIVE DOLLARS we were talking about. She returned with another puzzled associate and they both perused the circular ad. Then my cashier, Anita, started taking my things out of the bag and calling them out to the other cashier.
"Charmin, eight pack, jumbo rolls!"
"Ok," said back-up cashier.
"Swiffer wet/dry broom!"
"Mmm hmm."
"Always maxi pads, 32 count!"
"Got it."
"Tampax, 20 count!"
"That's the problem."
"Problem?" I asked. "My Tampax is a problem?"
A man behind me groaned and went to another line. I persevered. "Why is Tampax a problem?"
"You have to buy the jumbo box," Anita answered.
The other cashier nodded her head. "Jumbo," she echoed.
"I don't need the jumbo box," I calmly answered. "I'm not planning on becoming a hemophiliac any time soon."
"The jum-bo," Cashier 2 enunciated in case I was stupid or deaf or both. "The ad says jum-booo."
"I can read. It does not say that on the placard you have in the aisle. Besides, I bought four products! Not just three!"
"This is what the ad says, Ma'am," Anita offered.
"I know that. But four is bigger than three," I whined. "I just want my five dollars."
"Do you want to go back and get the jumbo box?"
"No, I-"
Anita picked up the phone. "I'll just call for an associate to bring one up. I need an associate-"
"Anita," I interrupted. "If you tell the whole store that I need a jumbo box of tampons, I will cut you." I jabbed my Target card at her as menacingly as possible.
"Well, what do you want me to do?" she demanded.
"Nothing," I sadly replied. "You've already killed the joy I would have gotten from that card."
So, out of sheer spite, I'm giving away a $10 gift card to ANY establishment, other than Target. Leave a comment and what store you would like and I'll pick the winner on Saturday!
Thursday, April 3, 2008
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91 comments:
those little twerps can be such brats over five measley dollars!! Hmmm...I will be moving from Alabama to Wyoming next week, so I am thinking that a Wal Mart gift card would be fantabulous, cuz there are a bazillion things that I will need for my new house...er...cottage. (whatever) :o)
LOL, I couldn't ask you for a card because you become a hemophilic after stabbing yourself in the face with your Target card. You did fall for the biggest scams that retailer's are famous for. I would have gotten my $5 card and made a big fuss that it was false advertising. Which is a crime. I worked in retail, so I know how to hustle the hustlers!
That's crazy. I hate when people take what the computer says as end all, be all. I'd love a gift card to Amazon, if that meets your criteria...
Ok, I've so been there and it just pisses me off reading your story! But you know...it's always fun to call the Target and get the general managers name and bitch to them...even more fun...call all P&G products and tell them what happened and that you usually buy the cheap stuff...they'll send you coupons for for free shit! :) Noooo...not that I've ever done that...not at all!
I would love a gift certificate to Target because I love love love their shoes and costume jewelry. And quite frankly I need to get out of the house and that would be a great excuse if I have a gift card!
I would have returned all the overpriced crap and gotten the Target brand.
Dumbasses. And I like Target too. Now, don't get me started on Walmart.
WOOHOO for Dollar tree LMAO...... :) Do they sell gift cards there? If they don't, I guess Kmart or Wal mart would do LOL.....
That is why I never shop there. If I win, give the $10 to that Disney trip fund you wrote about earlier.
That SUCKS! God, the cashiers at Target are some random breed of Super Idiot, I swear.
And in case it makes you feel better, I buy the jumbo box of tampons..... :)
Anyway, if I win, I choose STARBUCKS!!!!!
Wow, I would have rained hellfire on that cashier (but only because I have been in retail for many years before and know exactly how to kick some BUTT (and that guy who siged and went to another line, whine, whine, whine!).
I pick Walmart since I cannot thinkn of another, and I dare not say Target LOL.
shoot I just looked at my comment and realized I said Target and I meant Wal-Mart!!!! I'm sorry!!!!
Ok - I am first!! with a comment so I know I won't win. That's ok - I live in Canada and probably won't be able to use the gift card up here in the 'Great White North' anyway. Sigh. After reading this I am glad we don't have Targets. Do they call it that cuz you yanks want to get your guns and shoot their stupid asses?
I just wanted to say that when I get the runaround on a service or 'freebie' and then the store makes me feel it is MY f'ing fault, I take revenge on the idjits. Like....filling a cart with all the stuff I would LOVE to buy but don't have the money for....then leave it in an aisle, buy my pantyhose and leave. Let them put all the damn stuff back! (I don't pick frozen or perishable stuff though - in case they DO eventually put the stuff back and some poor consumer (like um...me) picks it up and gets sick a week later...
I hate Target with the fire of 1,000 white hot nuns. Which is to say, I don't go there but wish God's blessings on them in some way that I don't have to be witness or a party to in any way, shape or form.
I luvz me some Amazon though.
Thank!
i would have told them to shove the Jumbo up thier collective asses. not a big fan of target anyway. love the blog! almost had my drink coming out of my nose
Well don't I look like a horse's ass! There were no comments showing when I wrote my last comment! LMFAO!
Wal-mart or Hy-vee would be good!
Bwahahahaha! Your shopping excursions sound so much more fun than mine!
I don't need the card, the laughter from this post was enough. If I do get picked by the random number generator gods, just donate my $10 to the Disney Mom.
Thanks Crystal! You are a RIOT!
at this point i'd love a gift card to Goodwill if they make them - seriously! getting ready for baby #1 is bleeding my thin blood dry. i wonder if we can all live on breast milk for a few months...
Oh to have been in line behind you to get a chuckle! So I guess they do hire the most anal people at Target. I'd have just had them return everything (well, probably not, but it would have felt good to say it!). And since carting the kids around on Saturdays are happening again, I need all the energy I can get, so I'll vote for a Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts card, please!
Oh man, i have had some bad customer service at Target too! I put up with the bad policies because i like their products, but their people can be quite rude. When i got married, we registered for target, and one thing they say is you get 10% off anything on your registry that is not purchased for you. Well, i wanted some towels we didn't get, so I went to get them, my registry in hand, and they would not give me the 10% off because i didn't keep some stupid little card that they gave me in the "registry bag" which had soooo much shit in it that I didn't need (mainly advertising stuff). So even though I had my damn registry to show them that the towels were on it, they wouldnt give me the 10%! ridiculous! I have another story about trying to return ONE wedding gift, but I have bitched enough. They lose customers because of these stupid little battle they choose to have. ARGH! So take that, Dubuque, IA Target!!! LOL!
I have never had a problem at Target...hmmmm, that is just so wrong, over the PA system, too!!! They would have all needed to use that JUM BO box of tampons if they kept it up, as they could have joined a boxing match...That makes me wonder, do boxers buy the jumbo pack of tampons for when they get smashed in the nose? So, that said, my next choice to shop is kmart (out of convience only, our kmart is truly only there because there is nothing else nearby, yet...)
Megan, you're making my eye twitch, sweetheart. I'll assume you meant ... Gordmans. Dillards. Kohls. JC Penney. Take yer pick.
Karen Canuck, you can pick a web store and I'll just send you a redemption code. What's your poison?
Pick me and then use the $10 instead to buy yourself a "good" drink and enjoy! You deserve it!
:D
That totally sucks that they did that to you! BOO!
If I had a choice it would be Fantasy Bath! If you haven't heard of them check them out at: http://www.fantasybath.com/
That sucks but it's also hilarious.
If you got the jumbo pack of Tampax, you could have mopped up the blood from cutting her and anyone else who pisses you off toady!
I'd like a gift card to Safeway. Thanks you're the best!
That's why Wal-Mart rules in my book. Well, that and we don't have a Target nearby. Did the three eligible items you DID buy ever get the deed done? Did you get the $5 card?
Hee! You're pretty awesome. :)
(I'd opt for a Barnes and Noble card, myself.)
I swear the prices always ring up more at the register than what it says on the shelf at my Target. Then they want to argue with me for .80! Holy shit it's .80!!!!!!! Call security! `
Oh please pick me for Lowes. I love pressing my luck there. I bought some French doors at Lowes. Now having never bought doors before, I was not aware that the door "knobs" are sold separate. When my doors showed up to be installed, I kindly asked where my knobs were to which I was informed that I had to buy them separately. With half a chuckle I said oh no I don't. Now when I bought my house it came with knobs are you going to charge me separate for the hinges. I think not!!!
I have to say, I would have duked it out for the card. :) I'll take amazon.com if I win, if that works for you. :)
That's ruthless.. in front of everyone "Jum-bo Tampax.." and I personally prefer Always over the generic pads. They just.. I dunno... get bled on better. That's important to me.
I'd hafta go with a gift card for Best Buy (or someplace similar.. b/c I'm a nerd :D).
Joti, I once argued with the OWNER of a Sonic (above the manager!) over TWENTY CENTS they kept overcharging me for the peach sweet tea. "But it's a flavor," they say. "BUT ITS THE SAME FREAKING PRICE ON YOUR MENU," as I point to the prices... (back & forth about 10x).
Let's see, this place has a Super crap mart (oh, I mean wal-mart) and a Ho Depot... I guess.... either would work. Ooh, or maybe a Sonic card? Do they have Sonic in Crotch Dust, MS?
I'd say Michaels or AC Moore. I'm a scrapper, I can't stop, it's like an obsession now.
Like someone said, I would have loved to have been that guy behind you. I would have stayed ... and quietly egged you on.
If I win, I want the $10 ($9.90 Cdn) to go to the Disney fund.
We Great White Northerners have big hearts.
Love your blogs, Crystal
George
God, I hate when they do crap like that. You know you did it right, and still...and since the tampons were actually the fourth product, and you only needed three... yeah. Anyway, I'm sorry you had to deal with asshats.
If I'm picked, I'd love a gift card to CVS. :)
Thanks for the laugh fest, Crystal... But at least I don't need the jumbo tampax for another 8 months... I guess I'll be needing either a lowes card for $10 worth of earplugs or anyplace that will sell hard liquor to a woman nursing a baby...
I just wanna throw in my 'over-the- loudspeaker-embarrassing-shit' story.
Cashier: Price check on box of 40 Tampax.
Price check guy: Are those the ones you put in with a hammer or your thumb?
(Say it our loud, it'll make sense) The whole story died laughing...
But you bought 4 not 3! You should have gotten it! Jeeze!
My father in law works for target,I love discounts!
I used to love Target. Sadly they have begun disapoint me more and more lately. If I win, I would like my $10 to go the the Disney fund as well. Please and thank you.
Ooh ooh! barnes and noble! I lurve books. Target's run by a bunch of commie pinkos anyway.
I would really like a gift card to Sally Beauty Supply. My flat iron died and I need a new one so I will quit looking like a poodle that stuck its paw in a light socket. I'm at the point where I am scaring small children. Wait, sometimes that's not such a bad thing. Nevermind. If I win, donate it to the Disney Mom. She needs it more than I do.
I would like a gift card to Petsmart or Petco.
My dog is so neurotic, he is currently on a correspondence course with behavioral specialists at Tufts University.
I'm serious.
So I payed a few hundred dollars to fill out this long assed questionnaire about his 'behavioral' problems, then they send me back a long ass list of stuff to do to fix him. As well as recommending not one, but two anti-anxiety medications, one of which is a generic of xanax.
Then, on top of this, I have to feed him his meals in special kongs and 'buster cubes', etc...
So the next time your dog attacks a tree with lust in his eyes, remember, it could be worse. You could be eyeing your dog's xanax wondering if they REALLY meant that prescription to be for you.
Walgreen's, CVS, Rite Aid....obsession with over-priced beauty products.
Someone earlier said something about complaining and getting a free t-shirt. With your luck, it would be a big TAMPAX t-shirt.
Wear it with pride sister.
:) I would take Starbucks if I win.
Yeah caffeine!
Kaila beat me to the punch but if I win I'd also like to donate the card to the Disney trip raffle. I'd like my donation in Barnes & Noble denominations, please!
George said...
If I win, I want the $10 ($9.90 Cdn) to go to the Disney fund.
I agree, if I win I also want the $10 to go to the Disney fund!
Shop-Ko rules and Target sucks! Big time! You shoulda threatened to stick the jumbo Tampax where the sun don't shine!
(p.s. In case you didn't get it, I love Shop-Ko...if I win!)
I would love walmart--- they are directly across the road from each other in my town... take that target!
We have all been that person that is behind you and I, for one, have been that person that holds up the line, too. Don't feel bad! With today's economy, that $5 is worth fighting for! I hear milk is going up to $5.25 next week...we'll see, but that $5 bucks would have bought you a gallon of milk!
Hope I win...pick me, pick me!!
Sorry I have to leave this comment "anonymous", but I never can remember my sign in info!
~Mom of 3 - Mansfield, Texas
I love reading what you have to write. You have me laughing everytime. I agree amazon would be great
what jerks! I've only been to Target once, during the 3 months I was living in Missouri, and I wasn't impressed. We don't have them anywhere near me here in Vermont. I'd love a WalMart card.
I also need to say that while this is only the second time I've commented, I've been reading your blog for a couple of months now and I love it. And as someone who has Bipolar disorder, Borderline Personality disorder, and PTSD, and has had 53 hospitalizations, I love your crazy chronicles. I think you're braver than hell to post them and I get a lot out of reading them.
LMAO @ "If you tell the whole store that I need a jumbo box of tampons, I will cut you."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
I'd expect this from a Kmart worker...Walmart even...but TARGET? I'm so disappointed. Since I'm a new reader I won't participate in the drawing...but if I DID...I'd say Barnes & Noble!
Holy hell, you have got to be one of the funniest people alive I tell ya! Hmmm, I would have to say Old Navy for me if I win. :)
OMFG Girl you give in to easily. I would have went to the sign with a manager & said Show me where it says JUMBO!! if they still refused i would have stuffed the tampax up their asses plastic wrap & all!! no way would i have left without my $5! LOL just for the spite of it. if i win (which i never do but hey what can it hurt?) anyway amazon, ebay, im not picky, I'll even take Kroger hehe or one of those visa/mc u can preload. OR even better give the $10 to your grandparents!! How they doing btw??
Love ya, mean it!!
Raime
I'm not eligible for the contest, but I still wanted to comment.
What an airhead. And I can't believe she was going to announce to the whole store for a jumbo box of tampons.
I just hate Target. It has no use in my world.
Wal-Mart, on the other hand!
Big hugs to you.
Do they make gift cards for porn shops? Just curious...
Honestly, I don't understand the stupidity in the world...would it have killed them to just give you the damned card? I mean, you bought the right amount of items...what the hell? I'm never shopping at Target again...oh wait...I don't shop at Target!
If I win, put it in the Disney fund or buy something for your kids...I just wanted to add my "what the hell" to the rest... :D
I would use it anywhere that i can get some clothes for my youngest monster! Specially cheap clothes, which probably narrows my choices down to Wal-mart or K-mart... Little snot it growing so fast that I dont have the money to keep up with him, so I've been pretty much having to wash the clothes as he wets em (or any other interesting fluids that come out a baby) so i can put em right back on him again (yay for the water and detergent pricing going up!). I'll even put a cuteness picture in here... http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v411/tiroskassie/ThursdayMarch1320082.jpg
How bout that cuteness!
Is it a store issue or an idiot cashier issue? I need maternity clothes so my vote is for Old Navy
Wow, I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I was in Lowe's last week...
Me: Those glass globes were marked on the shelf as $3.92. (They rang up as $3.98.)
Cashier: I'll need to get a manger to do this price override...
Me: Even with buying four, it's still only 24 cents. It's not worth my time to wait that long for 24 cents.
Cashier: Are you sure?
People in line behind me were SO relieved when I insisted I was SURE and walked out. Just mark the stupid stuff correctly, would ya?
If I should be so honored as to win the number generator, give it to the Disney thingy. (Must go re-read other blog...) Be blessed!
I think a gift card to Williams-Sonoma would be awesome.
Oh, hell, I'm not kidding anyone. Ten bucks off at the Piggly Wiggly would make my whole damn week... and we don't even HAVE Piggly Wiggly in So Cal (I just love the name "Piggly Wiggly").
I need a shopping spree from walmart my husband was deployed today
If you draw my name, then I want to donate it to that lady with cancer. What is her blog, oh yeah, Clusterfook, right?
So if you draw me, just send it to her please:o)
OR Crystal, you can send her the $10 and keep the card. That might be better. She probably needs the cash more than the card.
Either way is fine with me:o)
Hey Crystal, as someone who rides the fence on when to argue and when to cut my losses, i got a good chuckle over this one. I have decided now that I will always argue, just not with the cashier, I go straight to customer service and demand satisfaction. I so wish I could go shopping with you because when this happens, I would be the one LOUDLY making a scene for you. I'm not going to pick a place for a gift card, if I win, you can donate the $10 to whatever cause thinks is the most deserving.
You are awesome.
Mandy in MN
Wow, and I really liked Tarja`e!(that's what the kids here call it!)
As I love to read, and you wouldn't have to run out to get it, I'd LOVE a GC from Samhain Publishing; http://www.samhainpublishing.com
I think you should call the manager and tell them what happened and that you want them to mail you the $5.00 gift card. If nothing else, it will give you more material to write about!
P.S. If I win I would like you to give the $10 to the person who wants to go on the Disney trip.
Haha, you're so awesome!
Hm... $10 gift card to Chapters/Indigo/Whatever it's called in the US would be substantially better than one for Target.
when life gives you tampax..I woulda said..yeah.bring those jumbo's up here...ripped open the box...slammed half of them on the counter...and told them..YOU blood suckers need these more than I do!!ugh..what we will do to save a few bucks...
I need a gift card...ex is late on payments..rent is due... I am out of diet pepsi...only a fellow soda lover would understand...
My favorite 8 year old boy and 4 year old girl love to get cream based drinks from Starbucks. I won't spend the money on them, the budget is way too tight!! :)
Ok, you seriously crack me up!
I hate Walmart. I despise Walmart. Walmart can bite the big fat one. Walmart please... (hanging head in shame...)
I used to work at Target, and the cashier was wrong. HOWEVER
what they should have done was have someone go GET the sign from the aisle. Don't get mad at the cashiers, they don't make the rules.
WalMart, OTOH, has the rudest customer service I've ever seen, NEVER enough checkout lanes open, and trying to find a salesperson is like pulling hen's teeth.
I'd want a GC to Border's myself.
Can I just go back and delete the stupid shit I posted? I had too much going on and the baby was crying and I was trying to read your other blog and yea I'm just making excuses because I'm a dumbass...so everything else aside and starting anew...I love the shoes and costume jewelry at Kohl's...Hope you are doing well!!
Hmmm, JcPenney? Although I'm waaaay past the 40's so I think I'm already a loser. lol
Heh...I would have been the one in line behind you adding my disgruntled voice to yours ( I can't help myself).
Anyway, if it could help your grandparents, send anything I win to them.
I'm sorry that happened!!!
If it means anything you've taken the joy that you should have received and doubled it and spread it out to all of us.... Then again, you've always had that gift!
I would love to win this! But on the other hand, I don't need to win it and I would hate to think that I was wasting it on a cd or book when someone else was going to use it for food...
I hate when crap like that happens! I argue with people all the time over their signs.
I am usually a whore when it comes to free stuff, but if I win, put the $10 in the Disney fund.
Retail sucks. Ask my husband, he's unfortunate enough to have to work for a 'big box' store.
We can always use a walmart card around our house (although I hate walmart it is the only place around here to buy groceries that don't break the bank).
That's hilarous. I love that you threatened to cut her with your target card. Not that I advocate violence of course, unless it's against stupidity. Then it's alright. :) rofl
Give it to the Disney fund if I win. Or your grandparents, whichever needs it worse.
$10 to the Disney Fund, please.
Sorry about the tampon trouble.
Hi Crystal! I love your blog! I've been reading for a while but this is my first time commenting. As a fellow Crotch Dust Mississippian I have to say that while Target can be a huge pain the Walmart down the street has to be the daily meeting place for every crazy/rude person in the area. They never have enough people on the registers either. I would rather deal with the higher prices of Target. Oddly though I wouldn't go near a Target before I moved here. Thanks for the laughs!
Oh, gad, Target becomes more and more like WalMart everyday! I'll take Home Depot or Lowes or even amazon.com. And just so you know, I buy my tampons at Costco. That's right, Costco! But we have three girls at my house. My poor husband. LOL.
Yes! The chance to get $10 - for free! - makes me drool a little.
I need it for Amazon.com because I found these sandals that I totally need. NEED.
Ok, they are flip-flops. And I already have a couple of pairs, but they're really great and...
Who are you to judge me? Just give me the money.
I have a 20 mth old and while i love him...it is possible that he would not be so happy and well adjusted if not for Starbucks...so please oh funny lady who often makes me pee myself a little I would like one to Starbucks.
How about Wal-Mart?
We don't even have a Target here. We're, like, the last community in the continental United States that has Mickey D's, Burger King, Wal-Mart, Sonic and Lowe's...but no freaking Target.
You should totally give away a McDonald's gift card. Because cruising the dollar menu makes you happy.
We only have a Wal-Mart up here in the sticks. I'll go with that. Love you! Miss you!
A year ago Christmas my sister in law gave me some pj's from BonTon-I didnot need them and they didn't fit so I took them to the BonTo in my town and exchanged them. They gave me a card with. I purchased towels and used all but $4.30. Which they would not give me in cash. After a heated few minutes, I decalred that I would NEVER (and haven't)shop there again and proceeeded to wander the store to find someone to give the card to and explained why and said-use it-I am never coming into here again.
Stupid ass idiots making stupid ass policies pissing off customers.
If this post is drawn-pick again. I just wanted to revent
hugs
How sad. SAD! What would they have done if you'd calmly taken one of the items back out and said through clenched teeth "If this is what it takes to satisfy your 'policy', then take this off." They may have gotten you on the fine print, but not on the number of items. YOU were in the right. Idiots. btw, SE Texas here, we got 'em all, they all have their problems, but WalMart is the one I have the least problems with. KMart uprooted themselves and left our area for the most part a few years ago.
...at least a jumbo box of tampons would be better than a box of jumbo tampons??? Surely?
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