I'm Back! WITH COOKIES.

A couple of days ago, Virginia and Devon were having one of their hourly arguments. I sometimes wonder if my Mom coaches them to do this because she said so many times, "Your punishment is that you will have kids who are JUST LIKE YOU," but that's probably just my overactive imagination.

(I have an extra set of keys to her car. I've been going by every morning and moving it to a different spot. She's convinced she's going crazy. WE'LL JUST SEE WHO BREAKS FIRST, WON'T WE, MOM?)

Anyway, back to the argument.

"Girls are better than boys."

When Virginia made this statement, I was convinced that Devon would rise above the obvious baiting and ignore her. Then I remembered that he has a twig and berries.

"What crap. Boys are so much better than girls."

It continued like this for a few minutes while Harmony and I made popcorn and found the good seats. Then we just sat and watched them volley, back and forth, back and forth.

"Girls have to sit down to pee. Boys can stand up."

Harmony and I nodded at one another, impressed. Point to Devon.

"Girls...well, girls..." She struggled and we leaned forward, eager to hear what gem would fall out of her head this time. Triumphantly, "Girls have boobies!"

"Egads, Devon, I think she has you there, old chap!" I said.

He looked at me in disgust. "Mom, you are not Arthur Conan Doyle."

"Fine." I threw up what I imagined must be a gang sign. (In reality, I probably signed what some pygmy that lives in the jungle would interpret as "Please, polish my banana") "You got owned, beeyotch. Is that better?"

"Yotch!" Harmony squeaked.

He ignored me and continued his argument with Virginia. "Boys don't have to buy tampons."

Virginia looked to me, her eyes full of panic. What the hell is a tampon?

"Ok, I have to call foul on that one. She's eight," I said.

"Besides," Chris piped up from nowhere. "Wait till you get married. You'll be a regular in the feminine hygiene aisle."

"Ugh, okay," Devon conceded. "Boys are just better, Virginia. You may as well accept it and move on."

She violently shook her head. "My pillow says, "Girls Rule" on it. I'll agree with my pillow."

"Your pillow was made by some woman who obviously made a mistake, because that's what women do."

"My pillow was not made by a woman," she bellowed, "it was made in China!"

So, what does all of this have to do with cookies? Absolutely nothing, except that she deserved one for that comeback.

And, really, everyone deserves a cookie, especially on a Wednesday. So, I have, courtesy of the fabulous Melanie Seasons, a pouch of the Cinna-Spin recipe by Lynette Spence of St. Paul, Minnesota. Lynette won Betty Crocker's "Bake Life Sweeter" contest with this recipe when she married cookies and cinnamon rolls together. COOKIES AND CINNAMON ROLLS. IN ONE BITE. Kill me now because it doesn't get any better than that.

So, leave a comment if you're interested and I'll pick the winner, via random number generator, on Friday. Next week, I have another $25 gift card with a completely unrelated story.